Sick Day

I am amazed that it has taken me 40 years to learn how to be sick.  Getting sick is no problem, I can do that without even trying, but being sick is a relatively new skill for me.

Usually, when I come down with a bad cold or the flu, I spend a lot of energy being upset at the fact that I am sick.  I yearn for the many things I would get done if I was not ill.  Of course these thoughts come up, but in the past I spent most of my sick time with them.  Sometimes I would even ignore the fact that I was sick and try to muscle my way through the day anyway.

Even if I took the day off, I would see my time alone at home as a chance to do stuff I can't normally do.  I would tell myself I was resting, but I was very busy, and continually exhausting myself.

These days, I have learned that listening to the mind to the exclusion of the body is just as bad as listening to body to the exclusion of the mind.  Nowadays, these two companions walk with me through the day.  Working together, they instantly know when it is time to lay down and time to get up.  On their own, there is a great deal of confusion.

This state of "just being" is the very essence of zazen.  On the cushion, in the bed, or driving the car.  This is the presence of mind to have the mind present.  Fully.  Fearlessly.  

When you get sick, know how to be sick.  Hopefully it won't take 40 years to learn.