Recently, our youngest daughter went through some educational / psychological testing. The short and to the point version is that she is me. My daughter has inherited the same basic make up that I had at her age, both psychologically and behaviorally.
I found a fair bit of stress in this confirmation. I did not have the easiest of childhoods (who does?), and there were a number of aspects, mostly social challenges that I desperately wanted my children to avoid. What I failed to see in all of this however, is the difference between my hang ups and her reality. I brought a lot of my own personal baggage to my view of how I wanted her life to be. Looking at her life however, I can see that she is happy, adaptive and has the biggest, most naturally expressing heart I have seen in a human being. Her life is wonderful.
I can no more control the parameters of her life than I can my own. Despite my intentions, I see that what I was worried about amounted to protecting her from the texture of life. Looking at it this way, I am reminded of the the Buddha's father and Marlin, from "Finding Nemo". It is comically silly when I look at it that way.
I love her, and I want her to get the best things out her life. Remembering to watch the way she engages her experiences would be a good practice. Even if there is a similarity between her struggles and those I had early in life, hers are totally different. What makes them different, is that they are hers. I will endeavor to see them as such.
I vow to stop trying to stack water. If I fail to realize this vow from time to time, I will also vow to not be surprised when it doesn't work (which will be every time).
Time to tuck my little teacher into bed and sing her a lullaby.
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